From where I was sitting you could see the following:
- The silhouette of the buildings in the distance
- A few stars
- Twinkling city lights which are gradually fading
- The triangular rooftops of the houses
- Some brightly lit windows
I chose to focus on the windows because when you look inside you could catch a glimpse of life inside. The 2 scenes I saw left me with a profound sense of what I imagine is and always will be life on this peaceful continent.
In one I could see a family who were finishing up their Sunday dinner. The tablecloth had red and white checks and by look of the remains they looked well fed. The lights were cheerful and the room was cosy. Basically they looked content.
The second one was a solitary man writing or perhaps reading at his window with a glass of some beverage... he looked satisfied and ready for a week ahead.
Now before you jump to any conclusions - I don't usually peer into people's houses and wonder about their lives. But that night was unusual - it made me want to look and think a lot. I realized that when I was in India I never sat back and wondered what life is like. Because everything is so fast and if I wasn't keeping up then I was left behind. In school it was about being the perfect all rounder, in university it was the same and in my job it was about being the best except with a team. But tonight I felt a sense of peace... and seeing these people made me content as well. I felt like I had a good life, a great job and some amazing people I was working with.
But then I was in a quandry - Do I want to feel like this? In India I was always running - and now I run strictly on weekdays and rarely on weekends. Life is a lot easier here - simply because daily living is not a struggle. If it says something will be open at a particular time, it will. I think a lot abut what I do and where I'm going. It makes me wonder - have I lost the taste for the fast pace? I hope not because I want to live in India ultimately. I usually also jump to conclusions very fast - I imagine that any country in Europe will have a similar feeling. But I am only in Rotterdam - I still havent seen most of Europe and it will unfair to categorize all cities in a similar faishon.
Either way - I am left with more questions than answers. Only that the night left me with a feeling of peace but a lot of doubts of whether I want to feel content so early in life? Do I even have a right to feel content at this stage of my life? Shouldn't I be wanting to discover more of the world, study a lot more and do some truly impactful things with my life?
I guess I wont have the answers but I think its ok to feel satisfied once in a while. As long as it doesn't substitute for being ambitious. Its the same with work I think - as long as the small things make us happy to have achieved them but we constantly ask ourselves if we're doing enough.
