Insightful HBR Article

Check it out: http://blogs.harvardbusiness.org/bregman/2009/04/susan-boyle-a-lesson-in-talent.html

My Job

One thing I've decided is that in my life I want to have a story, not a CV. I learnt this from 2 old men - my father and another Australian who lives in the UK working for a communications company.

My father has often told me the importance of a CV in one's life. And he's right of course. The fact is that in India, if your CV has to go past someone's rubbish bin it has to have the essentials of a degree, some work experience and depending on your luck - your name needs to fit in with the person's inherent biases. But he also gave me the comfort and security to KNOW this information and make my own choices despite it. More on that later. The other old man (to be fair they're both kind of middle aged) told a group of us a story about someone he knew called Dave or Steve I forget; who went from school to playing music with goats, then to incorporate 2 major businesses etc. His life generally went like this. So through my meandering and sometimes confusing life experiences so far I've decided I want a story as well and not a CV - where I need to compress myself into one page of boring rhetoric.

When I was coming to work today in an auto I realized I love my job. I have this realization sometimes - at weird times. Randomly at my desk, before I fall asleep, when I'm on a flight, when I come to work. But it comes nevertheless. This is the feeling that gives me the confidence to continue what I'm doing. The essentials of my job are:

1. I work in Mumbai
2. I work for almost nothing (Rs. 7500)
3. I live with 10 other people in a space that's enough for 4 people comfortably
4. I work with the same 10 people who have all had a fantastic leadership experience in the past and all assume they are right.
5. These 10 people definitely know more then me.
   
6. If I have a fight/argument at work I need to come home and live with the same people
7. In meetings its a clash of Delhi v Bangalore v China v Hyderabad v Chandigarh v Jaipur v Pune - the people on the team.
   
8. There is no concept of your own space or privacy - if you are extremely happy or sad about anything it needs to be disseminated.
   
9. The office is cluttered
   
10. The washing machine (in a flat where only 4 people should stay but 11 do) leaks terribly
11. We also live with 1 rat who brings friends on and off
12. Some people sleep at night and some in the day (thus moods varying accordingly)
13. There is no actual working structure - you have to make it up as you go along.
14. There is no protocol except the minimum
15. We work only for one year - so you need to work and do everything you can in that one year and hope that people coming after you will believe in some of the things you have done.
16. No one can have an ego but since that never happens, it just means 11 EGO's manage themselves in a very small space.
17. You have the space and the environment to think anything is possible and then do it. No one will even try to stop you.
18. You don't need to suck up to the boss to make something work. Or get a promotion. Because there are no promotions!
19. You don't work for money - which means you work for the love of the job, for the love of learning or for the love of being able to accomplish something.
    
20. There is no other place to feel a sense of pure ambition.
    

It looks - well out of the ordinary. But thats what makes it worthwhile. When else except at 23, single and with no responsibility will you do something out of the ordinary?

A Quick Fix in Mumbai

Have I ever mentioned in any of my previous posts that Mumbai is my city of dreams? It's the city I came into at my most depressed time in life and it made me realize its own power. It's got this invisible feeling of opportunity and spirit that seems to hide just below the surface. Of everything. It's like a silent virus that takes you out of boredom, misery or both. At least it does for me. It's throbbing with hope. (I mean this in the least perverted manner)

Feel free to try any of the following Quick Fixes for a bad mood in Mumbai

1. fill your iPoD with Hindi music from the 90's (DDLJ, Saajan, Maine Pyar Kiya) and take an auto to Bandra.
2. At the SV Road flyover at the turn when you can just glimpse Lilavati Hospital and see the sea to your left - thats the moment you may realize ANYTHING is possible. Especially in this city.
3. Buy an ice cream and sit on Bandstand after 6 pm opposite Mannat.
   
4. Buy a kulfi and do the same.
5. Take a train to Grant Road and hire a cycle for Rs. 8 an hour and cycle along Marine Drive at 7:30 am on Sunday morning.
6. Talk to either of the following in Mumbai - your auto driver, the chai wallah, the guy selling vada pav on the road - and you will find a clean, free spirit
7. Go the Gateway of India and look either way - at the magnificence of the Taj or the endless humility of the sea. With a cup of hot noodles.
   

Thats it. If there's anything you've come across in Mumbai that cheers YOU up feel free to leave it in your comments.

Women & Leadership

I've been wanting to write this one for a long time but it never seemed right. Either I seem to be a complete feminist or just resentful. The truth is, unfortunately in India today, that's what women in leadership are perceived as.

Of course, as with all my life experiences - I am writing from my own experiences - i.e. - leading a volunteer network of more than 1000 young people, leading a full time team of 11 and working in the non-profit sector. But it seems to be that they represent what reality must be in the boardrooms of India. Perhaps in a cruder form as young people have fewer qualms about speaking their mind.

I am the first elected leader of my organisation who is a woman. Now while it seems like quite an achievement for me, I feel quite shameful for the organisation. It took them 27 years to do this. Initially when I took over the top job, I felt this entire female leadership thing was overrated and just something to say. That was my biggest mistake. I should have done something about it because I have come to realize that there is a deep-rooted and inherent bias in the system which will not allow for more female leadership in the years to come.

Now it's not important in itself to have women taking up leadership roles. It is important however, for equality. I always think the best person should take the job - but in this case when the environment itself does not allow for a woman to be considered as the best person we have a problem. I am also not a raging feminist. Women have their fair share of management faux pas - just as men - but if I keep the best interests of the organisation in mind - it needs a bit of both from time to time. From my experience I want to highlight where things go wrong for a woman.

1. Authority: the biggest mistake any women in leadership roles can make is to become a man. I almost fell into this trap myself. Especially coming after a long line of strong, power driven male leadership one thinks the best way to lead is to be the strong, silent, emotionless, authority wielding figure. However There is a different kind of leadership and it comes with expressing emotions, with understanding people and allowing your self to be led from time to time.
   
2. Dressing: It was funny initially and then it drove me mad. If I needed to be taken seriously, I needed to dress accordingly - i.e. - look boring. Any hint of sleeveless, skirts, tight clothes, good clothes and I am degraded to someone who is not taken seriously. I was watching Priyanka Gandhi on TV the other day and if you look carefully - every time she is at a rally her head is covered - in the typical garb of a virtuous Indian woman. Now I have no problem with wearing work attire to office but just because I may be wearing something that is not Indian or not an ugly black/grey unflattering piece of clothing it is supremely unfair that I will lose even a little sense of authority.
3. Culture: The funny thing about a woman being the boss is that the guys don't even know they don't like it. I berated myself for a long time thinking I was being unfair to either men or women on my team and trying to change my attitudes on meetings, office timings, work deadlines to suit either sex. I gave up a few months ago (as i was pleasing NO ONE including myself) with this simple thought - I am boss for today irrespective of being a man or woman and a few things come or don't with the territory. Its just a different type of leadership.
4. Relationship Management: One of the things I found to improve significantly was the management of relationships to the organisation. It's not that it was bad earlier - it was fine. But now it takes on a level of comfort and less professional-more personal which ensures more return and benefit to all parties concerned.
   
5. Management of Women on the team: The other thing i came across was that managing women on a team; rather men and women together when they were equally distributed was another ball game all together. Women need a different kind of management - they also produce results differently. They need a different environment to work in and less massaging of ego's. They also need the environment in their life outside work to be as conducive as possible to their moods as it affects them much more in the workplace. In my kind of job I have the opportunity to do both which can be quite an obstacle at times.

But in conclusion I can say that all my experiences are unique to Indian men and women. I have seen (but do not have enough experience to comment on) differences in European, African, Latin American and Asian men and women in the workplace. I've enjoyed this learning of how to manage both sides of the game. It is quite a game at the end. It's also quite a stimulating one - to discover new things everyday of moods, people, work place antics and work environment. Finally though, I have come to the conclusion that if and when I have my own business or company I will do the following:

1. Have a work day from 9 - 4 strictly. Not more not less.
2. Have a gender balance on the team
3. Work out a mechanism to remind people how happy or not they are - it ensures most productivity if they know they are happy. Just being happy with one's job and life isn't enough. One needs to be reminded of it from time to time.
   

PFMI

Every year, a number of beautiful, smart, talented young women line up for the coveted "Miss India" title. Its a great contest - it's entertaining, it gives confidence to a lot of the participants and if nothing else - they can always say - I took part in a beauty pageant. (I tend to justify a lot of things with "once in my life" as you will see in posts to come). And I'm not ashamed to say that when I was younger (I'm ashamed to say how much younger - perhaps not too long ago!) I wanted to be Miss Universe. Of course this was when Sushmita Sen was Miss Universe not some flash-in-the-pan gorgeous girl. These days they're not even that good looking sadly.

Anyway to get to the point, I opened BT (Mumbai not Bangalore) one morning to see PFMI splashed all over it. The contest had just concluded and this saved the supplement from having to cook up (and get paid for) ridiculous stories about South Africa being the next holiday destination because all of Bollywood goes these to shoot. (this was the next day's article). Now unfortunately this is the only paper I can read considering I live with 10 others so we can't all have one common newspaper requirement - we have to make do with the best (or worst) of the lot. Also I think they deliver only this to the area we we live in.

So You must have seen apart from the winners in these contests, there are the sub contest winners as they are called. These include Miss Crowning glory (hair), Miss Talented (talent-Duh!) etc. BUT I was really unaware that PFMI (for the uninitiated this is P F Miss India - I can't directly name sponsors because they change every year) has many MANY more eggs in that basket.. and quite a few of them are rotten. Check this out - and hre I have to mention sponsors - thats why they've given the money after all!

1. Sahara Star Femina Miss Hospitality: ... because warmth, compassion and hospitality has been the principle responsibility of an Indian woman...
2. Indiatimes Miss 58888: this belied explanation even from as shallow a supplement as as this one
   
3. Collection G in association with D Damas and World Gold council Femina Miss Golden heart: children from... were thrilled to choose the onewho touched their hearts the most

Maybe I should have entered some contest after all! I mean even the certificate of participation is an award! Maybe I could have gotten Airtel Miss One-Who-uses-most-Voice-SMS or Bangalore University Miss stubbornly-trying-to-get-her-degree-but-is-waylaid-most-often.

Its good to know I have something to look forward to at least. Plus I get a really cool sash. What do you have that could compare, really!

Are we too old or too young?

Now of late, I've sort of been having an "inner struggle" so to speak. I took of 2 years of study to pursue something else. Now 2 years may seem like nothing if your degree takes 3 years to get but its a lot if yours takes 5 years. Of course when I was younger - i.e. 2 years ago (!) I didn't think much of it. Hey when you're 21 it hardly seems like anything can really affect your life.

But unfortunately it does. And its too late to realize it I suppose. So my inner struggle you may think is my regret to have made the choices I have. The funny thing is, I don't regret my choices at all. They were actually some of the best 2 years of my life. I suppose I would have also had a best 2 years if I had not done this but then you always can look at life only from one perspective-the one that you have lived. So what actually is going through my mind is the following:

1. Am I too old to be wanting to do things for "myself"
2. Will I be too old to be married
3. Am I too old to be frivolous? Am I being frivolous?
4. Did I throw away my life?

So from some points of view - I am too old. From others, I'm only 23! So the few valuable lessons I learned from this "inner struggle" is probably something I may never need or use but I learnt it so now its become part of who I am.

1. Your family will always surprise you-there's a reason they are the biggest support (and not just immediate family)
   
2. Other's opinions are just what they are-opinions. Advice is truly valuable-but advice doesn't come with judgement
3. Others opinions are shaped by their own happy or frustrated experiences. No matter how hard you try to prevent someone from making the same mistake, I suppose they have to live it out too :-)
   
4. How confident you are of your own choices make them as great or as crappy.
5. Most people have something they've always wanted to do-you find the right balance when you're ok with not having everything but parts of it
6. The only thing that matters is to be happy.

So as you may know, doing this gap year stuff in India is still not quite... accepted should I say. The worst part is, I think its not acceptable only by me. The thing about mindsets and a so called orthodox society is that it brings you up to think in a certain way, and then you make yourself feel guilty for any choices you make outside the norms of said society.

So for now, its not that other people are telling me I've made bad choices-I'm telling myself that! Which is an unending vacuum of blame, guilt and depression. And since I'm no longer a teenager and this is not some boy problem I figure I will just need to bite the bullet. I have to live with my own choices. You never know, maybe 30 years from now I will read this post and wonder WHY I ever thought these things.. and feel content that at least, I got to do things that not many people my age do. And I did it as MY own choice, with MY own responsibilities and MY own life. And then I will think-You know NOW i am truly TOO old... actually maybe not even then. I'll only be 53!

Auto Drivers

So as usual, I woke up this morning, got ready for office and had to catch an auto to come to office. Now the peculiar thing (and it always ONLY happens to me) is that autos on the side of my house/colony NEVER to directly to the office but you need to cross over and catch one.

Now considering this morning I had exactly 14 rupees in my wallet, it's smarter to go the long route through the station and save some money. BUT being lazy and knowing I have great co workers I could borrow money from I took the easy way out of course. So I crossed over (Ain't no mountain High Enough on the iPoD) and tried the first one. Now after counting his last customers change for about 10 minutes; while other potential autos were passing by, he looked up curiously. When I told him the destination I got a promt No.

Of course India is the one country where the public transport is not actually in the hands of the public...

The next one, said Yes. Thankfully. Now have you ever been in an auto where you wonder why James Bond movies don't have the auto drivers of Mumbai? Well I did admire his tenacity though. He would assume, even though it goes against all logic and common sense that the bus that is clearly coming to the right would in fact wait for his little auto to pass by. Keep in mind in the narrow sapce between the bus and the road is a divider-sure death. But of course he tried to squeeze past, didn't succeed and when I had the audacity (I could almost hear his silent curses) to make a disapproving noise, he got really mad. (Hum Kis galli ja rahe hain on the iPoD)

This I suppose spurred him on to more valiant pursuits-he now tried to really be the Formula 1 WINNER of auto drivers, the Badshah of Badshah's, the one and only AUTO-DRIVER-TO-GO-EXTREMELY-FAST-ON-A-COMPLETELY-EMPTY-HIGHWAY. He succeded of course, and got me to office in record time and in the bargin, is going to be satisfied the entire day. To have conquered all the other mightly vehicles on the road (of which there were none at this time)

Some people - get all their joys in winning. Even when there is actually no one else on the road. Hey, he's still gotta battle the roads of Mumbai-a threat worse than the vehilcles on it. Imagine those who feel good winning something when its practically handed to them. Who's the real loser there? Or who win and then amke it seem like they've really worked hard for it. Sometimes you really have to dig deep to find the true achievement.

Introduction

So I hopefully am going to write a lot even though I've tried blogging twice before and failed miserably! But if the delusions hope in our own belief doesn't keep us going what will? :-)

I am an ordinary 23 (right now) year old girl from Bangalore and I have had some adventures in life so I decided to start writing about them. They contain memorable characters, places, events and a lot of my own thoughts. Feel free to comment on them.

So a little more about me for the introduction at least - I'm 23 year old Indian girl who grew up in Bangalore, went to one school for 14 years and for the longest time (until I was 18 actually) thought the world was the area of school and my house. And looking back now-that was quite a happy world. I had one passion in life-reading and not just reading but very very strictly-reading one book, then if i liked the author finishing all the books by the same author only then did i allow myself to move on. I am surprised at my own discipline actually. I'm sure more about school will come up so I won't say anymore.

The rest essentially all happened when I moved to Mumbai - the absolute best city in the world (and I say this after visiting New York, London, Beijing and Sao Paulo).

As you can see-it's some little quircks and expereinces of the most ordinary life that anyone can lead. I hope you find your experiences in there somwhere.